This post is intended for Christians. If you are not born again, this post will appear as nonsense to you.
Have you ever had a glorious worship experience? Exodus defines when the physical presence of the Holy Spirit descended on the tabernacle and filled it completely after it was built. (Exodus 40:34) The upper room at Pentecost also describes the Glory of God descending upon the apostles and people gathered, waiting for the infilling of the Holy Spirit. (Acts 2:1-4) Where you could literally feel the tangible presence of God on your skin, where you could feel God in the room as people worshiped Him. In that moment, that hour, the days of that conference, worship concert, retreat, etc, were so blessed, so phenomenal, that you found yourself wishing that every day could be like that?
I have.
Maybe you have too.
When that time was over, the presence lifted and the grind and the day to day crept in. The memories of fellowship and worship linger, and you find yourself without that energy, that spark, and you feel like grass withering without water.
This is where we are at a choice, to either accept that perhaps the conference, the concert, the crazy morning of worship in Church that went a few hours long because it was ‘anointed,’ was just a special blessing, or we begin to crave and desire what is dubbed the ‘Glory of God,’ and we begin to chase the glory.
The “Chase” can take on many different forms. For some, it’s spending a great deal of time and money going from conference to conference, following around certain preachers or musicians that are anointed, just to experience the Glory of God. For some, they move to places like Bethel, or Jerusalem, or start attending a large church where there’s a lot of flashing lights, some expressive preaching, and people appear to be under the influence of God. For others, they follow traveling evangelists, going from tent meeting to tent meeting in hopes that the Spirit of God will fall on them. They’ll sit in services where the worship is over an hour, and the preaching is over an hour, all hoping that they will experience the physical presence of God. Some will attend retreat after retreat after retreat, hoping for an encounter with tingles, the willies, and awesome power.
I went through a time in my life where I was swept up in the “Chase”.
I was determined to live in a constant haze of God’s Glory. I was unable to afford going to several conferences, move across the country to attend a bible college, or visit exotic places. I was able to attend a few retreats in college that set up the foundation for what I did do. Since I couldn’t afford running around, or get the time off of work to attend multiple conferences, I set aside hours for bible study, hours of personal worship, and hours of prayer. I made it a job to get the physical presence of God to dwell in my apartment. I also attended church every time the doors were open, arrived early, stayed late, sacrificed all of my personal time to serving at the church. Choir rehearsals, cleaning crew, Wednesday night services, 8am to 1pm every single Sunday morning, children’s church, if they needed help, I offered whether I was a good fit for it or not.
I started my personal time with an hour of worship. I had about ten worship cds from Hillsongs, Ron Kenoly, Carman, Keith Green, Passion, among others. I rotated through them until I had an hour or more of personal worship done. I then prayed for at least an hour, whatever came to mind, I prayed for it. I laid myself before the Lord and said that anything He wanted me to pray for I did. I prayed for people I knew, I prayed for people I didn’t know, I prayed for countries, for the church I was attending, anything and everything that came through my mind. I also spent a lot of time requesting that God fill the apartment with His presence. Then I would spend time reading the Bible. I read the entire Bible. I had read so much, the entire New testament so many times, that I began reading the Bible straight through. Beginning to end. I read the NIV, the KJV, the RSV, the Message, etc. I found a Strong’s concordance at the used book store and began using that extensively. I read books by Brother Lawrence, Stephen J Foster, Kenneth Hagin, Watchman Nee, CS Lewis, etc. I listened to tapes by K Copeland and a few other preachers, but most of my time was actually spent in reading and studying the Bible.
I argued theology with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I challenged them to pursue the Glory of God. I wanted them to taste the Lord and see how good He is. I also struggled greatly in my flesh. I had deep rooted sins that I would fight with constantly. I was insecure, broken, and a complete mess. I was saved, but I had been given some incorrect teaching.
See, I was taught that being saved meant that I could overcome all these things that plagued me. If I received the blessing of being in the Glory of God, that I was good enough of a Christian, that I had overcome and was worthy of the physical presence of the Glory of God. So I ran after that with all my being, because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do, and I got wore out.
I became exhausted.
I was running to be filled with the Glory of God, chasing that thing.
Maybe you are in that spot right now, getting ready to run, or running after the Glory of God.
Stop.
I’m pleading with you, please stop chasing the ‘Glory.’
I ran so much and so hard, that I fell hard. I was empty and did not realize it. I was broken and not allowing God to heal me. I was hurting and denying it, because to admit that I was hurting was to admit that I wasn’t a good Christian, and the church I was attending at the time, if you weren’t putting on a face of being an ‘overcomer’ and being in the ‘glory’ you were backsliding and unfit for service. I needed the ‘glory,’ and we would spend hours at church prayer time, or in the prayer group praying for the purpose of revival, the purpose of experiencing the ‘glory.’
I’m pleading with you again, stop this madness, STOP THE CHASE!
If you are saved, (John 3:16, Romans 10:9, 2 Corinthinas 5:17), you already have the Glory of God inside you. You have that precious gift of salvation. You are literally walking around with the Glory inside of you. You are born again, you have that shiny goodness inside. You can converse with God at any given point in time and He will talk with you, you have relationship with the Father through His Son, Jesus Christ. (Hebrews 1:3)
You have the Holy Spirit in you, if you are saved. (1 Corinthians 3:16, 6:19, 2 Corinthians 6:16, Ezekiel 36:27, 2 Timothy 1:14, Ephesians 5:18, Romans 8:9, 11, 15, Galatians 4:6, 5:22, 1 John 2:27)
To find the ‘Glory’ turn within. God resides within you if have accepted Him as your Lord and savior.
That glorious gift, the peace, the joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, all of it is there. All you need to do to find it, is turn to God within you. (Hebrews 13:5)
You don’t need to exhaust your resources looking for God, you already found Him. All you are doing is looking for an external thing, you are looking to satisfy your flesh masqueraded as spirituality.
Had someone said to me, “Rebekah, you don’t need to exert the external so much to find God and to experience Him. He’s already within you, you can find that peace and comfort within the Holy Spirit that resides within you,” when I was younger or handed me a book that exemplified it such as this one:
I don’t think I would have become so exhausted.
I didn’t need to beg God to dwell in my apartment, He already was, through my salvation. Where ever I go, God is with me, the Glory of God is within me and I carry that into dark places.
I know I wouldn’t have struggled so much in my flesh. Because once I began to turn completely to Christ for everything and not relying on my strength, my power to get so much done, things became simple. Mind you, not easier in the sense that life is easy, because it is hard. As a Christian, life gets worse, but the comforter, the Holy Spirit makes it so much simpler to deal with.
I don’t need to struggle with pride so much, because in the end, God gets all the glory. It’s not me that gets it, so I don’t have to worry about being perfect or appearing to be perfect, because it’s not about me, it’s about God. I just need to focus on loving Him and the people around me.
I don’t need to struggle with sins, because if they come up in my flesh, I turn inwards to God, and my focus on Him releases me from the struggle. For it’s not by my works or how good I’ve been that I can come to God, it’s by the grace and mercy and the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.
I don’t need to overcome, Jesus has already done that for me, I just need to turn within to Him, to rely on Him to get through or how to get through whatever it is I am going through.
If things do(yes, I meant to type do, not don’t) go as I think they should, or if plans should fall apart, I turn inwards to Christ and release it to Him, because it’s not my will, but His be done. If what I think should happen doesn’t, I release it and thank God for the experience, and trust that whatever happens is for His good and His glory, and since it’s not about me, I don’t have to worry about how I will look, it’s all on God.
If I turn inwards and experience the Glory, then I thank God for that experience and that He allowed me to witness a physical manifestation of His goodness, if I do not experience the Glory, I thank Him for teaching me patience, for I know that He will never leave me or forsake me.
I stopped the ‘chase,’ because I had no need to chase God. God is within me. His glory, His power, His presence is manifested in my faith in the belief of salvation through Jesus on the cross. Everything else pales in comparison. The hair standing on end on my arms is nothing. There is nothing that even comes close to the faith I have and the power of the resurrection. I am a new creature in Christ, that is all the Glory I need.
I hope you stop chasing and find Him within.
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I still read my Bible from beginning to end. I still have morning devotions. I do spend time worshiping God, probably less than I should, but it’s without struggle to seek the Glory. For I know the Glory of God, the gift of His Son resides within me. I have that assurance. I don’t argue as much with other Christians, I find myself praying that God will reveal Himself through the scriptures, that the Holy Spirit will either appoint me to say something or keep my mouth shut and just pray that they are swayed according to His purpose. I don’t need to convince people that the scriptures are true, that’s between them and God. I just need to follow two commandments, to love the Lord with all my heart soul and strength and then to love my neighbor as myself. If I have trouble loving my neighbor, I turn within and find God’s love for them, because His love resides within me, and He loves them. That’s it. Everything else is up to Jesus.
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This does not mean I am not releasing any music in the future, on contrary, I have been busy writing many worship songs that I hope will enhance your relationship with God.
When I release music, it’s out of my love for Christ that I do so!
